Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Risk I Will Not Take


I wish that my children were already born. I know that they would most likely have Lyme disease. I know that it would be hard and I would feel guilty that I had given them my disease. But, at least they would be, and now, they most likely never will.
This is one of the most difficult things for me to deal with when it comes to having Lyme. I am 32 years old. I have been with my husband for 10 years. I have always imagined that we would have a family of our own. 
If our children were already here, I would be innocent of their health. They would have been born to a mother who had no idea that she had Lyme disease, no idea that she might be passing it on to her children. But, I am not that innocent mother. I know. I know the risk to my unborn children and I know the realities of Lyme disease. 
I hold on to the hope that their will be miraculous discoveries in the field of tick-borne illnesses in the next few years. That they will discover a way to ensure my baby’s health.


I may have made my decision, but I am not yet ready to face it as reality. 


Adapted from, follow up to Stolen Dreams originally posted on Lymenaide
(The photo is of my niece who I am lucky enough to get to live with for the first year of her life!)

2 comments:

Alix said...

Ashley,
As one of the moms who didn't know I had Lyme and that placental transmission was possible, I share your pain. I face these issues with my twins, but am getting more optimistic about ways, even natural ways, to treat kids. My LLMD has even reversed Lyme-induced autism, so there is so much hope. You also have so many child-bearing years left and if you can get the disease into remission I'm sure the chances of transmission would be lower, no? What does your LLMD say? There is probably a way to safely take something in pregnancy that could further reduce the chances of passing it on. Don't give up hope!

Lyme is real said...

Ashley introduced me to your blog and I'm looking forward to reading more. I was misdiagnosed with lupus, too. I've started a blog at http://lymeisreal.blogspot.com. Sending you best healing wishes!